Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
