My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
