This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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