Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
