Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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