marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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