i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
