I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
