I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
