so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize