i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
