I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
a search helicopter?!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
