what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
you made out with another girl for some wings
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize