its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
