I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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