Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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