SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
