Its about making memories worth repressing
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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