you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
