"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Im part way to drunk.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
