Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
