Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
