Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
