we have officially lost it.
I puked a lego.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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