So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
