Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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