Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
