Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
