I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
