My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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