Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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