Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
