I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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