I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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