Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
