I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
