dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
i out mim tonsoeep
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