Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My life is pants optional.
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