I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize