oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You work out of a Hotel?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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