I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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