What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize