wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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