only if we run a train.
done.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize