i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
