i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
