Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
