Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
