If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
