i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
