either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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