It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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