I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
