either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
