Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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