I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
