I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
