i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
